After 32 Years in marriage and still standing strong by God’s grace, Senior Pastor of This Present House and many other gospel expressions across Nigeria has put it ho-ha that the initial chemistry one feels before marriage does not have the capacity to hold one through the journey of marriage.
He shared this on his Instagram page, saying, although it is good, to have ‘puppy love’, what is greater and most beneficial in marriage is God’s kind of love.
Read the full message below:
The chemistry between a couple that fires that feeling of being ‘in love’ doesn’t always last in marriage. Books, movies and songs have all contributed to the definition of love as being a romantic feeling. This creates a misconception, which in turn creates unrealistic expectations in many marriages. Romantic love is great but there’s a major difference between this young ‘infatuation’ love, and the mature ‘true love’ that should develop over time between a couple.
Puppy love is a great first step but it must later mature into God’s type of love. If the ‘butterflies in our stomach’ and ‘stars in our eyes’ remain years after, what a glorious thing and indeed every marriage needs that romantic infusion to spice things up from time to time. However, people then think that they should love only those who are loveable. They only want to love when they feel like it. This is not God’s type of love. God showed His own love to us such that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” God actually loved us when we were quite unlovable. That’s real love – when a new kind of deeper feeling and oneness begins to develop as we give ourselves to each other in this new way of loving.
Those who experience true love in marriage will also experience disagreements, loneliness, and they may disagree on important issues. They don’t have all their life problems resolved and will not have all their life needs met in the marriage. That’s simply life in a broken world. Yet true love grows as we care for each other in a selfless manner, sometimes sacrificing all as we give ourselves to each other. God is the author of true love and we need to go to Him to teach us how to love. He alone can help us develop more concern for the needs of our spouse rather than concentrating on our own feelings and desires.